The Story of Me
by Carla Carson
Title
The Story of Me
Artist
Carla Carson
Medium
Drawing - Charcoal & Pastels On White Paper
Description
From childhood I was always told to do as your told, act your age, keep quiet. I always felt different & found it hard to fit in. I didn't know my place, or how to be me. I had to always try to please my parents & struggled to make a C. I was tormented & beaten up as a little girl because I dressed in rags as we were poor. I was told by my parents that I had to be in the band. I had to be in the band because my sister & all my cousins were in the band. They were all smart making straight A's & musically gifted, always winning awards, while I faked my way through from 1st grade to 11th grade never uttering a note from my dreaded clarinet that I hated with a passion. My senior year, I have had it! I was tired of trying to please everyone everyday of my life. I told my parents I refused to take band my last year of high school. They were upset, but I stood my ground. I wanted to take a class that I wanted. That would be Art
Class. The little girl in this picture is my very 1st drawing I had done. I had redrawn her. (the original drawing is entitled high school senior year art class 1st drawing) The others in the class thought it was the greatest drawing. For once I felt I found myself & was happy with myself for something. I belonged, I fit in... Soon after I went to art school. I did very well & was one of the only few in my class to pass my portfolio review. Peopled loved my work. Again, I felt I found myself, I now belong, I fit in. Right after graduation I got my 1st art related job with Picture Pages with Bill Cosby! I was excited & proud. They loved my work, I found myself, I fit in. But it wasnt enough money, rent was due & bills were to be paid. And so I spent over 20 years again for other people. Meaningless jobs just to pay bills & living my life again for others. So here I am again, the rebel again has had enough, time is
almost up. I have had enough & decided to ressurect my art once again, no more meaningless jobs to pay bills & no more living for others happiness while I fade away. This is me the artist. This is my life, my heart, & my soul on paper. It took me over 20 years to go full circle & to find my place on earth once again. The butterfly represents me & the changes & the cycles & the transformations we go through. From birth, to the moment where you let go & become yourself. Going full circle, this is me, I belong, I fit in, I dance alone...
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September 29th, 2012
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Viewed 1,532 Times - Last Visitor from Fairfield, CT on 04/19/2024 at 7:27 AM
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Comments (74)
Jacqueline McReynolds
I am so in love with this...I came to it because the butterfly jumped out at me, as i just saw one flitting around (don't see them very often anymore) and I thought it had significance...having read your story...I know this is it. Everything you wrote resonates in me, it gave me goosebumps...same story with different characters, but at the same point in my life! This is beautiful in every way! Thank you, thank you, thank you! f/v -j
Carla Carson replied:
and thank you so much for the wonderful comment! Im so glad you can relate, many have as well. Life is one crazy ride that I wish would never end. The words "enjoy the journey" mean so much to me, especially now. Enjoy every minute of every day! Thank You Jacqueline so much... :)
Hazel Billingsley
Wonderful art & story. Sometimes it takes a long time to find where we fit in, it can be a struggle but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Art & photography is my passion in life. I can't tell you how many times that passion has helped me through the mental challenges of life, through those dark days, always with me, a light in the dark so to speak! Let it shine for you! F/V
Carla Carson replied:
Thank You for those beautiful words Hazel. You & I & all of us can work through anything with our gift of artistic expression. We are the lucky ones... :)
Gerald Strine
Hey Carlia I am so glad I read your description on this I love the story of you and think it is great you put yourself out their in such a personal way.I Have had you on my watch list ever since I found you and love your strong and passionate art. I wish you the best of luck and look forward to your future works.
Carla Carson replied:
Gerald, Thank You so much for that sweet comment. It made me cry..... life has always been such a struggle for me, & it still is. I came to the fact that thats just the way it is. I don't mind it though, in fact, I love a good challenge. The hard times make us stronger too. Life is as they say a great journey. I love it, & wouldn't change a thing. Everything happens for a reason. I don't want it to end, but know it has to one day. I'm trying to make the best of my days, & I cherrish life & every day. I hope my art helps others to know they are not alone in life & with their struggles. We will work through the tough times & keep on keeping on until the big guy upstairs says time is up.... Gerald, thank you for making my day today. I'm happy you have me on your watch list. I'll continue to bear my heart & soul out for the world to see. This is me... :)
Danielle Haney
Oh Carla... what an Image! What a story!! Thanks for sharing this~ you're an Amazing Lady!
Rory Sagner
Yayyyyyy!!!! Just goes to show what good taste I have...guffaw!!!! Congratulations dear one!!!!
Carla Carson replied:
Thank You Ms. Sagner!!! :D Yes! you have very good taste, thats why you are a great photographer, & little Opie Talor likes your work too!!!! HAAAAAA!!!! :D
Gray Artus
OH I POSTED THE WINNER ON MY FACEBOOK AS WELL CONGRATS AGAIN!! :)
Carla Carson replied:
Thank You for that Gray! I'm not on FB anymore, but I'm very grateful to you, you know that! :)
Gray Artus
CARLA CARLA CARLA!! CONGRATULATIONS MY FRIEND ON YOUR 3RD PLACE FINISH IN MOST CREATIVE SELF PORTRAIT CONTEST!! AMAZING WORK AS ALWAYS!! V/F
Carla Carson
I just realized I Won 3rd Place for my drawing in the "Most Creative Self Portrait" Contest! This one especially is a great honor for me... What a great surprise to start my day... Thanks to all who voted for me from the bottom & all sides of my heart. I found my place, I fit in, I belong........ :)
Rory Sagner
I saw this drawing in the self portrait contest and fell completely in love with it. It spoke volumes to me before I ever even came here to your gallery and read your description, but I am glad that I did, and thankful once again for your amazing honesty. It's a gift to be able to inspire others...and perhaps even save them from the pain that we have endured during our lessons. The drawing itself is of course exquisite. I love how you have used the bits of color...symbolically and compositionally....completely wonderful. The way she (you) is reaching out to touch the butterfly...well, to me it immediately evoked the sense of daring to reach out and touch your greatest dreams...and your own self-realization because indeed, the butterfly is what comes after the caterpillar and the chrysalis! From your narrative it appears that this drawing was a prophecy that you were to fulfill and though waiting all those years to do so might have felt like a hardship, I cannot help but think that it was somehow critical in evolving you into the superb artist and deeply insightful person that you are. I have been taught that it's "all about the journey," and I feel your journey and your talent illustrate that concept beautifully. v/f
Carla Carson replied:
Rory, I absolutely adore you... your a very insightful & wonderful person. Thank You.. Yes, the journey, quite a journey it is & its called life! And oh how much I am grateful & love this life & living. I sound like a broken record when I say this, but I'll say it again, Everything happens for a reason. It is the flow of things & life. II now think that it was not the time back then, just the beginning of things. I had all those years of life & inspiration & of the beautiful people who came in & out of my life. Now I have something to show, & lots of storys to tell through this gift..... I wouldn't change a thing. I'm very grateful & humbled... :)
Carla Carson
Chrisann, That is such a wonderful comment, & thank you so so much!!! from my heart, thank You.... :)
Chrisann Ellis
Carla, OMG! This is Brilliant and I see a beautiful women reaching for the passion she wants!! Your talent and strength is so well felt and seen.. fav./vt!!
Carla Carson
That was a beautiful statement Chris, & you made me cry.. it's sooo hard sometimes, really really hard, but people like you is what keep people like me going. Thank You from my heart.... :)
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